Captain’s Record: Spacedate 25r624. My first officer has begun acting very strangely. I’ve called him into my office for a discussion. I hope we can figure out what’s gone wrong.
“Captain. You requested my presence.”
“Yes, Mr. Alien. Word is, you’ve been having a little trouble around the ship. Changing duty rosters, rescheduling time off, it all seems to be based around you and the CircuPool 45,000 Gallon Salt Water Pool Conversion System. We’ve sent word to your people’s spiritual advisor, a Hayward Viper pool cleaner, but we’ve gotten no answers. From anyone. And I want to know why.”
“Captain, it is not something my people discuss with outsiders.”
“Mr. Alien, I appreciate that you come from a secretive planet, and that it might be hard for you in our-”
“Captain, I have no interest in your opinion of my people and I wish to return to my duties. Now!”
”...all right, Mr. Alien. Dismissed.”
Captain’s Record: Spacedate 867.5309. Mr. Alien continues to act more and more erratic. I’ve confined him to quarters and am preparing to visit Doctor McRacist to see what else I can learn.
“All right, Doctor, what have you found?”
“Captain, take a look at this. It’s a video that proves Mr. Alien’s people were directly involved in a multi-generational conspiracy to bring down the Star Alliance. I ordered it off the SpaceNet, you really should watch it.”
“Later, Doctor. Right now I need to know what’s wrong with my first officer. Why is he so focused on the CircuPool 45,000 Gallon Salt Water Pool Conversion System?”
“That green blooded S.O.B.? Well, he’s going through some disgusting metabolic change. He won’t talk about it, probably because he’s trying to get a better deal out of me. But I do know that the CircuPool 45,000 Gallon Salt Water Pool Conversion System only needs a teaspoon of salt per gallon, and that the CircuPool system leaves only a small amount of residual chlorine behind. Some people think that it makes cleaner, safer water. Hey, have you ever heard about the USS Cole?”
“Later, Doctor. Wait… are those the hyperdrives starting? Who gave that order?”
Captain’s Record: Spacedate M.18N.Ilikeit. It’s been a busy few hours. Without authorization, Mr. Alien has hijacked my ship and taken us to his home planet to visit his spiritual advisor, a Hayward Viper pool cleaner. We have now become involved in a strange rite… a rite in which I have been tricked into participating! Boy, that was an awkward sentence. Why can’t I rewind these things while I’m recording?
“Mr. Alien, you can’t! You’ll kill him, you pointy-eared monster! A Hayward Viper pool cleaner, please! You have to stop this, you less-than-human witch! The Captain doesn’t know what he’s doing!”
“No, good Doctor McRacist. For we know that yon CircuPool 45,000 Gallon Salt Water Pool Conversion System can be assembled with thy ordinary hand tools and thy basic plumbing and electrical skills. Yon test… will continue!”
“Arrrgh!”
“Yon test… is complete!”
“Alien! You dirty inhuman- you’ve killed the Captain! You’ve killed him like the CircuPool 45,000 Gallon Salt Water Pool Conversion System kills germs and algae! What have you done? What have you done?”
Captain’s Record: First Officer Alien recording. I have killed my Captain. Doctor McRacist and I have returned to the ship. I am preparing to surrender myself and stand trial.
“Well, Mr. Alien, I hope you’re happy. You might have a low-salinity level pool that might help with allergies and also save you money on supplies and some other things that are covered in the CircuPool 45,000 Gallon Salt Water Pool Conversion System FAQ, but at what price? You stupid, green blooded devil!”
“Doctor, please! All this fighting woke me up!”
“CAPTAIN!”
“Well, pleased to see you too, Mr. Alien!”
“That’s right, Mr. Alien. The two humans figured out a plan. I bet you feel pretty stupid right now. I’ve finally proved you Alienians aren’t as smart as real people.”
“Captain, I have no excuse for my actions.”
“You’re right, Mr. Alien. And as your punishment… you have to install a CircuPool 45,000 Gallon Salt Water Pool Conversion System in our ship’s pool… immediately!”
“Is this the part where your people laugh and fade out?”
“How can any of our people laugh while your people are in violation of several United Planets Resolutions?”
“I’ll be on the bridge. Try not to kill each other.”
Warranty: Circupool 2 Year on Power Controller, 1 Year On Cell, 4 Years on Prorated Cell
Features:
* Self-contained chlorine generator. Slightly salinated water (0.35% salt content) passes though a electrolytic cell and produces chlorine gas. The chlorine gas prevents algae and purifies your pool or spa
* Eliminates the need to buy, store, and handle chlorine
* Capable of sanitizing pools up to 45,000 gallons in size
* Produces up to 1.95 lbs. of chlorine daily
* Adjustable output compliments 99% of all backyard pools
* Self regulating function warns you if the salt levels are to high or too low
* Suitable for all pool surfaces
* Automatic operation, one-touch mode for “Super-Sanitize” and “Winterize”
* Control is configured for 220 volt operation matching 95% of residential pools, but can be converted to 110 volt by a qualified individual
* Self cleaning electrical design prevents phosphates from building up around the cell, so the output won’t be reduced over time
* Weather protected and made of high grade U.V. stabilized plastic
Additional Photos:
* Control Unit
* Cell
Electrolytic Cell Features:
* Durable weather protected bluish clear housing to see the cell’s inner-workings
* Standard 2” Inlet and Outlet have screw-on connections w/ o-rings for easy removal
* Contains 7 Titanium plates mounted horizontally
* Titanium plates measure 6.5”L x 2”W x 1/16” thick
* Ruthenium plate coating (26 layers) measures +/- .70 mils for extra durability
* Self cleaning electrical design prevents phosphates from building up around the cell, so the output won’t be reduced over time
Benefits:
* Eliminates the need to buy, store, and handle chlorine, pool shock and algaecide
* Sanitizes your pool by converting salt into free chlorine after killing bacteria
* Low cost operation, draws less than 2 amps of current which equates to less than $5.00 a month in electricity
* Operates on evaporated, granulated, food-quality, non-iodized salt. (Should be at least 99.8% pure NaCl)
* Much easier on your eyes, skin, pool maintenance time and pocketbook – your pool will taste like a teardrop!
In the box:
* RJ45 Control Unit
* Control Unit Mounting Bracket
* Cell
* Rotary Jet
* Installation Instructions
