KISS bassist/vocalist Gene Simmons will guest on the syndicated radio show "Lex & Terry" tomorrow morning The "Lex & Terry Morning Radio Network" can be heard on over 30 stations coast to coast. The show is also heard on XM satellite radio each day.
Yes sports fans, it is time to decide: whose publicist is better at getting his boss's name splattered all over the Internet: Gene Simmons's or Dave Mustaine's. Several factors are to be considered, all of which make it clear why, even though they are in there pitching, people like Bierk Bierk (aka "Sebastian Bach") are not considered. Further, Devin Townsend isn't considered because he can't afford a publicist, and posts his stuff himself (including his fake fan postings). Ditto for that retard in The Haunted.
1) Frequency of postings. Both hugely in the running. Nobody's weekly lunch menu has been posted on Blabbermouth yet, but just you wait!
2) Wackiness of postings. Gene takes a hit here if a posting mentions scabs playing in Kiss while dressed as Ace and Peter, or wacky Kiss merch, or husband and wife plastic surgery. Mustaine takes a hit if a posting contains anything suggesting that Mustaine is pro-Christianity, or has been in therapy, or has bonded with a horse like people on TV (yes, he said that), or that Marty Friedman was wearing a kimono, or if someone on the Megadeth payroll has been ordered to publicly humiliate himself, such as by saying butt kiss things about Mustaine, or by proclaiming himself as "The original J-Lo."
3) Postings by affiliated figures. One day, we had a Mustaine posting followed immediately by a Marty Friedman posting! Gene, you have something to live up to here. However, if a posting by an affiliated figure causes Mustaine to take a hit as described in 2) above, he doesn't gain anything back here.
4) Postings about actual music. Mustaine gains further points, as while every Megadeth record for 10 years has been exactly the same thing as its predecessor, any Kiss record that is done will have been written by outside songwriters.
5) Postings about true rock and roll merchandise (not coffee shops). Action figure postings are a huge boost. Gene clearly comes out in front here, as while there actually is a Dave Mustaine action figure, it doesn't have a battle axe or much else that is cool abut it.
OK judges, who wins?
